How to Shower Like a Woman vs. How to Shower Like a Man.

A friend sent me this joke. It's slightly exaggerated, but true non-the-less. Some parts more true than others. Won't highlight which one ;) Enjoy!

+ + How To Shower Like A Woman + +

Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according
to lights and darks.

Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.

If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to Do more sit-ups / leg-lifts, etc

Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long
loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.

Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.

Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.

Condition your hair with grapefruit mint enhanced conditioner.

Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes
until red.

Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.

Rinse conditioner off hair.

Shave armpits and legs.

Turn off shower. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mold
Spots with Tilex.

Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.

Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.

Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.

If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
+ + + + +

+ + How To Shower Like A Man + +

Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave
them in a pile.

Walk naked to the bathroom.

If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the
'woo-woo' sound.

Look at your manly physique in the mirror.

Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your ass.

Get in the shower. Wash your face. Wash your armpits.

Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off

Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.

Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.

Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.

Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.

Pee.

Rinse off and get out of shower.

Partially dry off. Fail to notice water on floor because curtain
was hanging out of tub the whole time.

Admire wiener size in mirror again.

Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light & fan on.

Return to bedroom with towel around waist.

If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make
the 'woo-woo' sound again.

Throw wet towel on bed.

Do we really have to send THEM?

Today's newspaper had just confirmed my concern about PutraJaya's road planning. Please read my blog posted on January 17, 2005. You will clearly see what I was griping about.

Today, that gripe is substantiated by The Star Publication regarding the opinion of PutraJaya road planners. It's no wonder why they were not invited to go and plan one of the cities destroyed by a certain big wave.

The Star Online, February 4, 2005
http://www.thestar.com.my/news/story.asp?file=/2005/2/4/nation/10081794&sec=nation

KUALA LUMPUR: Malaysian town planners will be involved in drafting the master plan for the reconstruction of Aceh, Deputy Prime Minister Datuk Seri Najib Tun Razak said.
He said he would lead a delegation to Aceh on Monday, along with several planners, who were selected by the Housing and Local Government Ministry.
To a question, Najib said the master plan would not be based on that of Putrajaya.
“Although those who planned Putrajaya will be involved in drafting the master plan in Aceh, the philosophy and architecture have to be based on local needs and tastes,” said Najib, who had been asked by Abdullah to co-ordinate the reconstruction work with Indonesia

Interesting...interesting. So let's just go ahead and read behind the lines.

To a snide remark, Najim* retorted that the master plan (of Bandar Achih*) should deserve better than the crap we have at PutraJaya, (plus, it's going to be an international thing so we have to put more thought and less bribe into it.)
"Although the Scrabble Club who planned PutraJaya will be involved in picking the material for the blueprints of Bandar Acheh*, we will hire REAL city planners to plan a structured and logical blueprint for them to leave peacefully in," said Najim* who had be asked by Abdillah* to co-ordinate the reconstruction work with Indonisia*.

**Names and places have been changed to protect the author from being escorted into jail.

Gimme back my illegal workers!

It’s interesting to see how some Malaysian’s are reacting towards the government’s clamp down on illegal immigrants. Some are commending the effort, and some are just plain angry. Why? They have to do the dirty work of their business, plus, they’re losing precious sleep.

The Star reported on February 2, 2005 http://www.thestar.com.my/news/story.asp?file=/2005/2/2/nation/10060805&sec=nation

Restaurant owner K. Puspa, who tried in vain to get work permits for four Indian workers, said she was now left in the lurch as there was no one to cook for her customers.
“I’m upset and angry. Chinese New Year is approaching and that’s when we have a lot of customers. Now I have to reduce the shop’s operating hours by half, learn how to make roti canai and prepare the food myself.
“I’m also barely getting three hours of sleep daily,” said Puspa, who was previously cheated of RM6,000 when she tried to apply for the permits through agents.

I’ve heard the same thing from one of the Malay restaurant operators at my workplace. They had to cut down on working hours as well as do things themselves. And they’re not too happy about it either.

SO…do these particular business owners have the right to be angry at the government for taking/scaring away their illegal workers?

H*ll no! is my humble opinion. First of all, they’re cheating on income tax payments by hiring these illegal workers.

Second of all, they cheating Malaysians a chance to get a job.

Sure, Malaysians in general are particularly fussy about jobs. But that does not give these business owners the right to hire illegal immigrant workers.

I hope that the government will continue to uphold the virtue of the law. I know it's pretty d@mn hard in this country, but we've got to start somewhere.