To all the ugly girls out there...

There’s still HOPE! Why? Because a great personality counts! Yeah!

It was a dreary Friday afternoon. I was doing some research for an article that I was writing until I heard the phone ring. I peered from the side of my computer, and saw that it was one of my colleague’s phone ringing.

So I intercepted the call, and the conversation went like this;

ME:“Hello, This is the *** **** Berhad. How can I help you?”
A male voice, medium range in pitch said, “Hi, may I please speak to X?
ME: “He’s not in at the moment. Would you like to leave a message?”
Man: “No, it’s ok. Is this Sarah? It’s me, XX, we were introduced briefly the other day”
ME: “Oh hi, XX, how are you doing?”
Man: “Doing great. It’s the weekend…” and yada yada yada
Five minutes into our casual conversation,
Man says, “So can I have your hand phone number so that I don’t have to call the office?”
ME: “WHHATT? I’m SOrrrry. Can you REPEAT that AGAIN? I’m kinda HARD of hearing”
Man: “Damn, you’re not letting me get off easy with this, are you?”
ME: “Hahaha…No, I’m NOT letting you get anywhere. And by the way, did I mention that I was MARRIED?”
This was an absolute “Scrubs ” moment. I could almost see him reach for a cangkul and dig a hole under his desk to bury what’s left of his pride.
Man: “OhhhhhHhhhhh…Well, at least I asked,” and laugh’s nervously
ME: “I guess so.” Short silence “Need a Band-Aid?”
He was grateful that I was able to lighten the situation with a witty banter.

So to all of you – plain janes, flat chested, pimple infested, gappy toothed, heavy set women out there…Personality plays a big part in attraction. If you don’t have the money to change the way you look, then start building a strong character. Develop that, and you’ll get a man interested in you because of YOU - Priceless

But if you think you’re not one to turn heads, I would suggest that you use the phone as your first impression tool to start off ;)

Foxtrot - A mirror of my life.

Defender of the Home

Athena – Goddess of wisdom, the practical arts, warfare, and the protectress of cities. A mighty name for a dog to bear. But the bitch beareth it well.

Athena, is our 6th month-old German Shepard. She came equipped with killer instincts and a deadly growl.

Every night, I peer through my window to see what Athena is up to. Sometimes she’s sleeping on her back with her paws in the air; other times she’s irritating our other dog – a pug, by running round and round and round him. But at her best times, she’s loyally guarding the main doors of her master’s home.

Her ears prick up, like she’s trying to catch and decipher the unseen waves in the air for any enemy intrusion. She gets up on all four, posing like she’s going to charge forward. Slowly, she puts her right paw gently forward. Like she doesn’t want the rustle of grass sounds to alert her unseen enemy and she makes a dash to the garden.

Without a sound, she pounces on something on the ground. Her nose starts to twitch as she deciphers her catch. As she lifts her paw to check on the enemy, it hops out of the her grasp.

What an exciting match to watch! The enemy seems to be confusing her with its zigzag hopping formation. She pounces after the hopping object with much vigor and speed. But alas, after 10 minutes of high strung hopping activity Athena loses her enemy into the dark side.

With a mixed look of wild excitement and defeat, she heavily pants her way back to the front doors of her master’s house.

Between laps of water from her bowl, she looks into the night to scan for more excitement.

The night is still young. The goddess of warfare will keep on defending her master's home without a shadow of doubt.

Stalk-her

A colleague sitting opposite me has been getting a range of raunchy to sentimental SMS's in broken English from an unknown admirer (Aka Stalker).

"I miss you" and "What part of you?" are just a few to begin with.

This one way SMS romance has been going on for a few days until today. Stalkee (my colleague) confronted the Stalker using the office hunting phone line.

After three rings, Stalker picks up the phone.

"Hello? May I know who is this?", asked Stalkee.

"Yellow? Ermm...vhat you vhanting? Who'r you?", replied Stalker in a heavy Indian accent.

"No, what is your name? And why are you SMS-ing me?" asked Stalkee in a firm voice.

"Ohhh...ohh...vhat is your nomborr?," asked Stalker suddenly sounding sickly sweet.

"What? You have been SMS-ing me for the past few days and you don't know my number? How did you get my number?" asked Stalkee who was trying to keep her cool.

"Ohhh..I picketed your nomborr from a phone book. Vhat you like to eat?" cooed the desperate Stalker.

"I am not going to answer your question. Please don't contact me again." said Stalkee
("or I will send your number to the proper authorities to cut of your puny 11th digit off..." I whispered)

"Errrr...vhich part of you?" asked Stalker being selective in his hearing.

"Huh? What part of me what?" asked Stalkee out of frustration and curiousity.
("What part of me wants to slap your horny ass..." I chidded her to reply)

"Vhat part! Vhat part you from?" Stalker finally gets frazzled.

"Once again, I'm not going to answer your questions. I'm asking you nicely to stop SMS-ing me. Do you understand me?" demanded Stalkee.

Silence (One could almost hear half his brain waves trying to connect to the other half on the line)

"Hello?" asked Stalkee while rolling her eyes out of impatience.

"Yellow, yellow. Yokay yokay. No more talking to you. You girls are no funny to talk" replied Stalker in a sulky tone.

And the phone went dead.

My colleague shrugged her shoulders and gently put down the receiver.

I must say she handled the situation pretty well. I would not have wasted my diplomacy on a rectal cranial inversion person (Aka TOTAL ASS)like her Stalker.

I guess the lesson learnt today was...

Don't list your phone number in the directory.

Bridging the Gap

"What cards do you have, kid?", asked the 57-year old uncle nonchalantly.

"Hey, you're not supposed to ask!", replied the 7-year old who scrambled to hide his cards (which were too big and too many for his hand to hold).

"Haiya, why so kiasu? Can't an uncle help you out? I tell you what, if you show me your cards, I'll show you mine", grinned the 57-year old uncle.

"Oklahhhh" replied the 7 year-old after contemplating the odds of how many times he had won in the last few rounds (0:8) and proceeded to show his cards to his uncle.

Before the exchange of card-showdown happened, the 35 year-old mother of the 7 year-old kid screeched a "NoooOOOOOoooOOOOoo!"

"That uncle cheats!" And proceeded to grab the kids hands full of jumble cards away from the laughing uncle.

"When mummy was your age, this uncle did the same trick. He wants to see your cards so that he can win!" explained the 35-year-old mother while arranging the jumbled cards in an organized manner.

"Hey...where got? Please, I'm a respectable and honest uncle. Don't try to tarnish my excaliber reputation like that!" replied the mischievious 57-year old uncle.

And the game continued on for hours until it was nap time for both the uncle and the kid.

It's important that different generations can work together and most importantly PLAY together!

Taking the time off to play! :)

Happy Deepa Raya!